Selphie Gets a Computer!
by Fallingofftheworld
Summary: Squall teaches Selphie how to use a computer! (I wrote this with my sister). Selphie gets bashed, so beware. R+R!


(Squall walks into the living room and sees Selphie sitting on the floor opening a large box.)  
  
Squall: What are you doing?   
  
Selphie: Opening this!  
  
Squall: Opening what?   
  
Selphie: This box!  
  
Squall:(Duh.) I mean, whats in it?  
  
Selphie: It's a computer!  
  
Squall: (Walks over and examines the box.) What kind?  
  
Selphie: (Astonished) You mean there are different kinds?  
  
Squall: ...........  
  
Selphie: (Opens the box and pulls the computer out.) Finally! (She puts the computer on the tabler, then puts the keyboard next to it.)  
  
(Squall puts the plug into the outlet)   
  
Selphie: Oh goody! (Starts typing.)  
  
Squall: .................  
  
Selphie: ....... Nothing's happening! (She starts to panic.)  
  
Squall: .................  
  
Selphie: (Continues typing, then looks at Squall) Whats wrong with it?  
  
Squall: .................  
  
(Selphie continues typing.)   
  
Selphie: IT'S BROKEN! I PAID FIVE THOUSAND GIL FOR THIS PIECE OF JUNK AND IT DOESN'T WORK! (She starts screaming incoherently and heads for the door.) I'm going to get my money back!  
  
Squall: .............. (He turns the computer on.) There. It's fixed. (He rolls his eyes.)  
  
(Selphie stops halfway to the door and turns around.) Selphie: It's not broken?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Selphie: You saved it! (She runs over and hugs him.)  
  
Squall: ..................  
  
Selphie: Thank you, thank you!  
  
Squall: Let go.  
  
(She doesn't.)  
  
Squall: Let . . . go.  
  
(She still doesn't.)  
  
Squall: I'll break your computer again.  
  
(Selphie lets go in a hurry, runs over to the computer and starts typing random gibberish.)   
  
Selphie: (Almost in tears) It's still not working.   
  
(Squall moves the mouse to 'Notepad' and opens it.)   
  
Squall: There, see? Type something now.  
  
(Selphie starts typing her name over and over.)   
  
Selphie: It works! It works! Now... what do I do with it?  
  
Squall: ............... Maybe you should try using the Internet.  
  
Selphie: Internet? Whats that?  
  
Squall: It's...sort of what you used in Garden, only...different.  
  
Selphie: Ooh, okay.  
  
(Squall makes the connections. After an hour, they are online. Squall stands back and lets Selphie take control.)  
  
Selphie: What now?  
  
Squall: Type in a website.  
  
Selphie: What's a website?  
  
Squall: .......... Type www.fanfiction.net.  
  
(Selphie types it, and the page loads. Yay!)  
  
Squall: Now click on something.  
  
Selphie: Click?   
  
Squall: (Sighs dramatically.) With the mouse.  
  
Selphie: (Pales and begins to shriek.) EEEEEEEK! A MOUSE? WHERE? KILL IT, SQUALL, KILL IT!!  
  
(Squall puts his hands over his ears until she runs out of breath and stops the awful shrieking. When she's done, he points to the mouse.)   
  
Squall: THAT is a mouse. You move it around and the little arrow moves around the screen. When it lands on a link that you want to visit, you click the button. oOIit's like talking to a five year old....)Oo  
  
(Selphie calms down and clicks on something. Nothing happens.)   
  
Selphie: Um, squall? Nothing happened.  
  
Squall: ....... (He tries clicking on something, but the screen is frozen.)  
  
Selphie: Is it broken again? What's wrong with it? (Starts to panic and begins rapid-fire clicking of the mouse.)  
  
Squall: STOP!   
  
Selphie: (Stops clicking and looks up at him, worried.) What's wrong with it?  
  
Squall: ...............  
  
(Selphie looks up at the screen again, only to see a message reading: "This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.)   
  
Selphie: (Panicking again.) What did I do? What did I do?  
  
Squall: ..........  
  
Selphie (Hysterical.) What did I do?! Did I do something illegal?! Answer me!  
  
Squall: You didn't do anything illegal! Stop screaming!  
  
Selphie I'm going to go to jail! (Breaks down and sobs.)  
  
(Squall tries to calm her.)   
  
Squall: You didn't do anything wrong. (He clicks 'OK'. The message dissapears, along with the website.)  
  
Selphie: I didn't?  
  
(Squall shakes his head.)  
  
Selphie: I'm not going to jail?  
  
(Squall shakes his head again.)  
  
Selphie: (Breathes a sigh of relief.) That's good. (She looks up at the screen.) AUGH! WHERE'S THE WEBSITE! IT'S GONE! I KILLED IT! (She starts to sob again.)  
  
(By now, Squall is on the verge of slapping her. He brings the webpage back up, clicks on the link himself, then shows it to Selphie.)  
  
Selphie: You saved it! (Jumps up and hugs him again. This time Squall jabs her with the barrel of his gunblade.)  
  
Selphie: Meanie. 


End file.
